Discoveries of Mind

Love

Scientifically, love is a combination of passion, intimacy and commitment. 

Practically, there are so many aspects. There are so many misconceptions and complications.

Respect and its forms

Any form of love basically involves mutual respect. If you love someone, you should be able to respect them. Respect involves acceptance that is, acceptance of other person’s thoughts, words, actions and believes. Apart from this, remaining all aspects are trash. 
People do not respect and they live in imagination that their love is perfect for years altogether.

If you are in relation, count down the number of things you have changed for your partner and also the number of things you asked him/her to change. If there are many, probably you are not in love.

People most commonly impose following rules: dont do late night jobs, wear dresses which I like, take care of my parents, inform me before going out…


Romantic component

Adult love is completely different from other forms of love as it consists of romantic component in addition to basic respect. 

Though there is no romantic component, some people think that they have to be in relation just to avoid guilt. They see it as a moral bond. Indian systems promote such kind of relations. There could be some advantages. Being in moral bond saves person from pain of break up but, it also pushes individual into invisible prison

Are you afraid of breaking up? Are you confused about relation? Are you afraid that your partner will feel sad if you leave? Do you think that its unehical to leave? Then probably you are not in love.

Most commonly people are afraid that their partner will get depressed if they leave.


Can breakup ruin self esteem?

Self esteem is the most important component. Relation ruins self esteem and that leads to breakup when there is no mutual respect.

People have misconception that breakup ruins self esteem.

Do you think that breakup ruined your confidence? You left the relation because you were not getting respect. Dont perceive in a inversed way…

Guilty of what?

No one can change or influence. Whenever someone does something, how it is received by other person is not in their hands. Perception of each individual is different. Therefore, both the people who are in relationship are equally responsible for whatever happens. 

People try to take the blame and start feeling guilty. 

I can give a small practical experiment which proves you that you are not responsible. Findout effect based on which you think that you are responsible. Then think of bringing same effect on other person. Imagine and determine whether it is possible or not. Your outcome will decide the answer. If you are responsible, then you should be able to cause same thing in others as well.

Most commonly, people think that they caused some impacts on their partners life. He/she failed in exam because of me, left job because of me, didnt marry because of me.

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About Niharika

Founder, Author and Counselor

One comment on “Love

  1. Vamsy Krishna Damisetti
    15 Feb 2017

    Hi Niharika.! please emphasis or give an example of the practical experiment that you are speaking about, so that readers (we) can try by ourselves.
    Your approach to love is rational and everyone should think in this terms rather than blaming others when something went wrong in a relation. we can see a better society for sure if everyone perceives love, in the way you did.

    Like

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This entry was posted on 22 Dec 2016 by in All Posts, Mental Health.
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